“I don’t know what my plan A, B, C, D, E or even Z is. And I am totally okay with it.”

Yesterday, I successfully completed my 20th first day of school as a student. Dangggggg. I don’t know if I feel really old, really accomplished, or if it’s obvious that I just don’t want to face the real world. ((This count includes pre-school (yes, still a first day), K-12, 4 years of undergrad, 1 year of Masters, and now doctoral program))

I don’t know exactly what I have stated in other posts about this, but I have quit my job as an athletic trainer to go back to school and obtain my PhD in Higher Educational Leadership. I am getting out of athletic training for now and seeing what else there is to offer in the university setting. If you would have asked me 6 months ago when I applied for this program, I would have told you that my career goal would be to be a Program Director/Professor for an undergraduate athletic training program.

I am one summer class in and I am already questioning my Plan A.

Last night in class, we went around the room and introduced ourselves and explained what our plan is, why we are in this program and where we want it to lead us. After a story from our professor about someone who lost their job and didn’t have a ‘plan B’ (nothing is guaranteed in academia) our discussion quickly turned into “my plan A is this, my plan B is this”… I was the last person in class to explain my life story in 3 minutes and I ended up saying “I don’t know what my plan A, B, C, D, E or even Z is. And I am totally okay with it.” [At this point, I displayed my confidence and made sure to portray it to my ‘established’ class]

SO TRUE. The weirdest thing about entering into this program is that it happened at the right time. I applied at a time I felt was best for me. It is a time that fit best for Mike and I. I got accepted when I didn’t think I was going to. I received an assistantship to help with school costs and allow me to make some money. Everything has fallen into place.

These reasons are what make me believe that it’s okay to let go. I am not in control of my life – I have a higher power that is leading me down my path. I have worked really hard to find this path and I will continue to work really hard to stay on it. I have been through a lot of struggles in my life and I know I will continue to face these as life progresses, but I know that I have had help getting through each instance. Whether it’s friends coming into my life at the right point in time or being directed into certain situations, every experience has helped mold me to who I am today.

I am getting very philosophical and that wasn’t my intention at all…..but the moral of the story is that I am not in control. Things really do happen for a reason. I’m loosening my grips on the reigns of my life.

Can’t wait for the rest of this journey. I truly am blessed. Never thought I would be where I am today.

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